Inauguration

I am firm in my stance that blogs are for the reader, not the writer. A BLOG IS NOT A JOURNAL. Any benefit to the writer comes only because the writer likes attention. And that, dear friends, is why I have joined the blogging trend. (Besides, any trend has the potential to suck me in, particularly if that potential involves my looking cool.) I blame my parents for the attention cravings I sometimes experience. If they hadn't continually said "entertain your brothers! Before they destroy another piece of furniture! Hurry THERE GOES THE PIANO!".....maybe I wouldn't need to perform for others so much now. Sigh, if only we had lived in a shack without expensive belongings.... well too late for mighthavebeens! We will all just have to make the best of it. And, dear reader, I know you will. I believe in your great ability to cope with whatever crap you might read here.

Just some observations to start:

-A job that relates to absolutely nothing in the outside world makes it hard to explain the funny things that happen to one in the course of a day. "Honey, today someone sent me all the PINK copies of the contracts instead of the WHITE copies! As a joke! Isn't that absolutely the most hilarious thing you've ever heard! No? Are you sure? Pink instead of white! Ahhh still no. I'll put sheets on the couch for you." I believe this type of job causes a majority of the divorces in our society today.

-Bold Party Blend Chex Mix is much more exciting than Traditional Chex Mix, if only because the name sends thrills down my spine every time I reach for a handful. That's right, world, I am BOLD.

-McDonalds's signature 99 cents extra large soda will be the death of me. Somehow the person taking my order always knows that I didn't actually mean to order such a modest soda and kindly offers to upgrade me to what I really wanted but was afraid to ask for: sweet sweet diabetes.

-The average person spends 2/3 of their life thinking about food. If average person is synonymous with "Specifically Krista".

I can tell already that blogging and I are going to get along! My natural tendencies to spend lots of time perfecting things that don't really matter and very little amount of time actually working for my paycheck will churn out a fantastic blog written by an unemployed person. Enjoy.