Family dynamics

I was told today that I'm the most intimidating person in my family. Seriously, that is ridiculous. I'm perfectly friendly, as you all know. And besides, there are other people in my family much more intimidating than me. For example, my husband. He could beat you up. And enjoy it. He's got a good thug persona going on when he wants to (deep down I know he's a softie, but a brand new acquaintance would have no idea). And for another example, my father. The man is almost seven feet tall (minus five inches) and has a deep voice and distinguished gray hair and a terrifying yell when you are ten years old and you disobeyed the rule of not riding your bike past the corner. I believe that must seep through when people are meeting him for the first time, although all my friends who have met him say he's perfectly nice. But still, they were obviously just trying to reassure me when I was still in the stage of having to bring guys home to be evaluated. With both of these men ahead of me on the intimidating chart, I cannot believe what I heard today! Now, I know I'm not up to my mom's level of welcoming-ness. The woman is a sweet ball of sugar cookie dough when she is meeting new people (this does not mean I think she is round or malleable. I simply mean that she is a treat). But even not being my mother, I'm still very nice! I'm polite, I have a nice smile, I will laugh sweetly at any jokes one wants to try out on me, I will be your best friend!

Now that I've convinced you, I'll have to convince my brother's new girlfriend. Although it may be more fun to convince her that my family is crazy and she should run for the hills... aaaand now that my brother has read this, I will no longer be invited to family functions.